


Safe Inside

by chxngzhus



Category: Heaven Official's Blessing, 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst and Tragedy, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, FengQing, FengQing Week 2021, Fluff, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, mild body horror, mild depictions of injury, soft fengqing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chxngzhus/pseuds/chxngzhus
Summary: The night before Feng Xin and Mu Qing collide with one another once again, words of farewell and forever.
Relationships: Feng Xin/Mu Qing (Tiān Guān Cì Fú)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21
Collections: FengQing Week 2021 🏹🗡️❤️





	Safe Inside

**Author's Note:**

> my entry for fengqing week 2021, day 4 prompt; "farewell."  
> the song that will be used further on is titled "safe inside" by james arthur.

“Feng Xin,” A faint voice called out. Feng Xin was already fast asleep, who knows what hour in the early break of dawn was he disrupted by a voice so annoyingly familiar. 

“Feng Xin, wake up.” It was still faint, but this time, it had a little more firmness to it. Feng Xin felt himself waking back into consciousness, fumbling slightly between his marshmallow-like bed and mellow blankets. 

“Hmm.. M-Mu Qing..?” Feng Xin breathed more so than spoke while rubbing his still lazy eyes, hoping to somewhat ease the sleepiness away. 

“Where are you?” The newly awoke man groggily called out as he opened his eyes, yet all that they landed on was still his lightless, perfectly sized bedroom, empty of presence other than his. He was expecting his eyes to flutter open and reveal the face who owned that certain voice, to his pretty silver-haired boyfriend rolling his eyes like he always does, those uniquely long lashes complimenting his bright, fiery obsidian orbs even more. 

Yet before him, there was no one. 

He looked around, reaching for his phone to see if it was from there. Maybe he accidentally answered a call when he was asleep? Yet as the screen switched on, there were no signs of a name nor a number plasted on an ongoing call anywhere. 

“Sighs, dumbass, I’m here.” The voice called out again, then it finally dawned on him, he felt stupid for not figuring it out immediately. 

“ _Oh,”_ Right, where else would it come from? Mu Qing had reached him through their private communication array. 

Don’t get it wrong, they’re mortals, and the ever so modern society was still as normal as it claimed to be, nothing was different from this world whatsoever. 

At least, nothing that was _too_ unearthly anyways. 

The only twist was, only the so called destined ones, or better known as _soulmates_ , were given the blessing to communicate telepathically, not needing the use of virtual messaging nor phone calls. This was far more superior than any technological advancement people have made or could come up with. Of course, the different opinions and views on this were also present. Some find it very convenient and some find it impractical. Some, despite the fact that this exists, still prefer the use of messages or facetimes, whereas some don’t use it at all. There were also those rare, unlucky souls that didn’t even have a fated half. 

It was magical, heavenly. Although the two barely use this since they were always together before, and still prefer seeing each other on facetime when apart, they still found this blessing to their liking. Especially when they found out that it was them, the two of them, who shared such a phenomenon. 

“Sorry, if I woke you up.” Mu Qing said softly. Despite being used to these moments already, it was still somehow rare for the two of them to apologize over minor things, especially Mu Qing, so it was still quite unexpected. 

“Nah, it’s fine. Can’t sleep?” Feng Xin asked as he sat up, back resting on the bed’s headboard. 

“Something like that..” The other answered, followed by a faint wet cough. 

“Mu Qing, are you sick? I told you to take care of yourself.” Voice laced with concern and strictness. 

“I’m fine, the weather’s just a bit cold here, that’s all.” He reassured, even though his weak sounding voice proved otherwise. 

The two of them had been apart for two months now, because Mu Qing had to leave first for his immediate training that had no room for delay, the two of them were supposed to go together since they both decided to move to a different country with the reason being either their training or businesses, but Mu Qing had to leave much earlier due to this. Whereas Feng Xin still had some important matters to deal with, so he had no choice but to stay behind for quite longer.

The latter knows how Mu Qing has been overly working his ass out. Feng Xin couldn’t express how proud he is of his partner, he has seen Mu Qing’s unfinished journey of pursuing his dreams, and even until now, he’s still watching. Every hardship, every downfall, every bruise, every triumph, Feng Xin had been supporting him throughout it all, so of course despite missing his lover very dearly, he would never get in the way of Mu Qing’s ambitions. They’ll be able to hold each other tomorrow though, because he was now free from the burdens of this place and is now able to follow after Mu Qing to their new home after months worth of waiting. _Finally._

“So, is there something I need to know? Since you barely call me through our communication array. So it must be something important?” Feng Xin questioned, turning serious to the thought of the possible news Mu Qing needed to tell him. 

“Nothing I just.. I just missed you..” The voice in his head said faintly, he almost didn’t hear it, he could already imagine the faint blush that crept up from Mu Qing’s cheeks up to his ear whenever he was shy. Feng Xin smiled as he pictured his lover all cozy and wrapped up in his covers, looking all bashful and red as a tomato as he hides his face in his pillow. Feng Xin was disappointed he wasn’t there to see such a pretty sight. 

“You’re so cute, you know that?” Feng Xin teased. He could swear he can hear Mu Qing roll his eyes at the remark. 

“I can’t wait to hold you again, babe.” Feng Xin added earnestly, he really couldn’t wait anymore. 

“Mn. Hey can you... um, sing me a song?” Mu Qing asked quite suddenly. 

“Hmm? So sudden?” A questioning hum escaping his lips. 

“I just want to hear your voice.. dummy.” Mu Qing didn’t know either, why he couldn’t just use those sweet endearments like Feng Xin does, instead of his weird insults. 

Feng Xin laughs, “Alright, since you’re being so cute, how could I possibly refuse?” He teased once again, lips in a full blown smile. He adores Mu Qing so much, it was insane. 

“Bastard, just sing already. The song you showed me last time, before I left.” The silver-haired man pushed, pretending to be annoyed. Another quiet, wet cough sounding from his mouth. 

Feng Xin hums in agreement, amused by how adorably impatient his partner is. He clears his throat, then starts to sing the bridge part of a song that was both known yet still slightly unfamiliar to Mu Qing. 

_"If you make the same mistakes, I would love you either way_

_All I know is I can’t live without you"_

The smooth, baritone voice dancing along with the serene and solacing melody of the song. Mu Qing was also someone who had a pleasant singing voice, although people often praised him for this, he still preferred having Feng Xin sing for him. 

_"There is nothing I could say, that will change you anyway_

_Darling I could never live without you"_

It was like the tune wasn’t already enough to squeeze his heart, the lyrics just had to make him more emotional, and the fact that his beloved was the one singing this to him, he could die right then and there. Unfortunately, he really will.

_"Will you call me to tell me you’re alright,_

_‘Cause I worry about you the whole night"_

God, he really did pick the right song. The lyrics convey his current situation, perfectly aligned with each verse. This was exactly what he did, called and told Feng Xin he was fine, that he was alright. Nevermind his now limp body laying on the ground of some depressingly dark, grimy alley, alone and pummeled. Nevermind his slim, flexible body twisted and broken into a figure that was too unimaginably traumatizing, as it soaks in a pool of his own blood, emitting such a strong metallic stench. Nevermind the gashes and bruises that now gave color to his snow-pale skin in a very, disturbing sense. Nevermind the once fair, sharp face, now beaten into something that was sure even he couldn’t recognize himself. Nevermind all of that, he was alright, Feng Xin didn’t need to know, he didn’t need to suffer, like him, right now.

_"Don’t leave me this way,_

_I won’t sleep till you’re safe inside"_

There it was, that line, that line was his limit, the tears he had been forbidding to fall since earlier were now running wildly down his face. Waterfalls of tears streaming down, one after the other. The clear, glistening droplets become stained with crimson red as it flows down his bloodbathed face, and with those tears, hold the heart-wrenching pain he felt. 

The countless, unfathomable words he wanted to hear from Feng Xin, all summed up in one enchantingly composed poetry. Words of farewell and forever, unfeigned vows now spoken and treasured, none remaining untold.

A sob escapes his lips, before he immediately covers it with his hands to muffle the sound, yet this abrupt movement only made it incomparably worse. A severe, sharp pain instantly drowns his whole body, blood from his open wounds begin flowing once more. Thank God he bit his lips at the last second and was able to suppress an unsettling scream, or else if he was a second too late, Feng Xin would’ve found out what he dreaded to tell him the most.

“Mu Qing, are you- are you crying??” Feng Xin speaks up once he had finished singing, disrupting Mu Qing’s sorrowful thoughts.

‘ _I’m sorry.’_

“So what?? It’s all your fault asshole.” He hates himself, why couldn’t he just _say it_?

“Alright, alright, no need to be so snappy, you big crybaby.” Feng Xin says, with a smile so loud Mu Qing could hear it from miles away. Oh _God_ , he just wants to kiss that stupid smile of his, but he knows that isn’t going to falter it even the slightest, because in all the years Mu Qing has tasted those soft lips, he knows that his boyfriend is the type to smile during kisses, like an idiot. It’s so stupid and yet, it just makes his heart thud loudly even more.

“I miss you too, so much.” Feng Xin finally tells him. “Now stop crying, alright? You’re gonna make me cry too,” He adds.

_‘I’ll miss you.’_

“Sap.” Mu Qing teases, trying so hard to stop his voice from cracking. He feels his eyes start to feel heavier, sleepier.

“It’s getting late, you should rest now. You have to meet me early at the airport tomorrow, wouldn’t want to miss it would you?” Firmness once again laces his voice.

_‘Don’t leave, please..’_

“Okay, you too.” 

“Sleep well, _my love_. Don’t worry anymore, alright? We’ll see each other again tomorrow.” Feng Xin cheers. If only he knew.

“I’ll love you forever, A-Xin.” Finally, _finally_ it liberates from his lips. These certain words held forever, even though it was the last time he would be able to say it. 

“And I, you.” Feng Xin returns. Words of reassurance carrying the same, heartfelt sincerity as the other’s.

Mu Qing waits for the other end to go silent, before he lets his endless tears fall down unrestrictedly once again. Loud sobs and pained whimpers engulf the quiet alley that would soon be his deathbed. 

It was pointless to tell Feng Xin anyways, he was beyond saving, even if he was brought to the hospital it would be dead on arrival for sure. So rather than having his one last conversation with his beloved consist of hearing Feng Xin breaking, it was better if they ended on a warm, wholesome note, because his pain would only double if it was the former of those two. This was Mu Qing’s mindset, to leave this brutish world with the last feeling of everglow.

He observed the dimly lit night sky one last time, thousands of scattered stars and the illuminating light of the ever-changing moon serving as his last ray of brightness, before he was fully devoured by the darkness as his eyes closed shut.

Unspoken truths of one another, serve as greetings for their next lifetime of forever.

______________

A new day has arrived, the half-dipped sun still orange as it slowly rises to behold itself to the world, with an ethereally ombre-painted canvas as its background. Feng Xin awoke to the faint, warm rays hitting eyes, a smile already forming on his lips at the thought of embracing his lover soon. He had already gathered all his needed luggage, and was soon about to take his leave and say goodbye to the days spent in their now old home.

Yet before he could ever set foot outside his room, he felt his phone buzz, the defaultly set ringtone disturbs the tranquility of his home. He sees the caller ID, it was from the Police Department. Although confused, he answers the call, a voice begins talking calmly, professionally asking what they need to ensure that they’ve called the right person.

Feng Xin listens intently, slightly worried as if he knew something had happened. The voice switches to a much more serious tone than earlier, before it drops the news on Feng Xin. The grip he had on his phone loosened, as it fell and clattered to the ground with a loud shattering sound. In his many years of living, he had never received such news that made his heart devastatingly shatter and sink to the bottomless depths as fast as this one did. 

How could it be? He had just talked to Mu Qing last night, he even serenaded him as a means of lullaby to help further deepen his sleepiness. They were just heartily conversing with each other a few hours ago, exchanging sweet nothings. Everything seemed fine. So how could it be? 

Now, it was all starting to become clear to Feng Xin, the reason Mu Qing almost easily cried, the reason why his voice sounded so weak and hoarse, the reason why he sounded sick and was coughing wetly, and also the reason why Feng Xin’s good morning messages were still left unanswered even though he was sure that by now, Mu Qing should’ve already been awake.

He remembered how fondly Mu Qing told him the words “Love you forever.” and how he didn’t acknowledge, at least once, that they would shortly meet again the next day, as Mu Qing usually would have.

Mu Qing had called him, one _final_ time, to say goodbye.

Feng Xin had arrived in the country that was supposed to be the next milestone of their domestic life together, but he didn’t have any time to ponder about this and headed straight to the morgue, demanding nothing but to see his lover’s body.

He was informed of what ensued last night that catalyzed Mu Qing’s body to look like what it did now, Feng Xin refused to believe that such mortifying events had landed on Mu Qing’s person.

He neared the bed that held Mu Qing’s lifeless body, Feng Xin intertwined his hands with his lover’s cold ones and pressed it against his cheek, heavy tears started streaming down from his wistful, golden-specked orbs. Both hands tightly clutching Mu Qing’s right one, praying he could offer half of his own lifespan to the other, so warmth could hug his body and his heart would drum inside his chest once more. He prayed for a miracle, he didn’t care how utterly impossible it would be, he just wanted his annoying lover back. _Please_ , he just wanted Mu Qing back.

Feng Xin requested the coroner to wait for a few more minutes, since they started to ask him to leave so they could prepare Mu Qing’s body for the funeral.

Feng Xin didn’t want to let go, he couldn’t forgive himself for not noticing that his lover was suffering. The overwhelming feeling of regret hitting him like a truck for not sensing the words that were expressed to him last night were that of adieus. They haven’t even reached half of their journey, no, perhaps it had only just started, and yet everything was rapidly stripped away from him without even knowing. 

Before Feng Xin even knew it, he had already lost his half, his partner, his lifelong companion. The person that made him whole, that accepted him for who he was despite his insecurities and awful sides, the only person who could ever make any place, no matter how horrid and unkempt, feel like home. Never in his lifetime did he ever expect that there would be someone he was both inextricably disparate but also undoubtedly alike with at the same time. 

Feng Xin had lost his only soulmate, he was crestfallen. 

He brought his lover’s cold fingers to his lips, warm tears sliding down the bridge of his nose and across his lips where he tasted the slight saltiness on his tongue, some dripping on Mu Qing’s ashen-white face that was now drained of blood.

Aware of how personal the situation before them is, the coroner turned away respectfully, not wanting to disturb further. It wasn’t like Feng Xin cared about anything else, the world could literally be at its end behind him and he still wouldn’t pay it any mind, he would still remain besides Mu Qing, unmoving. However, as much as he wanted to hold him longer, to be the fire amidst the coldness, like how he had always been, even before his beloved’s body lacked any sign of life. As much as Feng Xin wanted to, the brightly lit fire in him had been extinguished out ever since he discovered the person he wanted to keep warm, was already unsalvageably freezing. A person could only live for so long, and it was unfair.

He was urged again by the coroner, yet this time, his stay could no longer be extended. Feng Xin studied that sharp, beautiful face once more, grasp eventually loosening. He straightened himself, preparing to leave, voice slightly shaking as he bid his last goodbye.

“In every lifetime, I will find you again.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was the first ever fic i posted here, and also the first fengqing fic i've written and since it was fengqing week 2021 i decided to give it a try. i know there were a lot of faults, i'm sorry:( thank you for reading though! if you wanna visit my main, please go ahead [here.](https://twitter.com/ratedyibo)


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